Paper Crowned.

The Heir is a person of royal descent, born into filling the role of a ruler whether or not they like it. They struggle with pressure, expectations, overworking, burnout, and depression.

The Heir || (they/he)
Age: 12-18
Height: 5'6 / 167cm
Hair color: Red/orange
Eye color: Blue
DOB: January 19
Hobbies: Art, painting, music, reading, studying history and old literature.

achievements.
- Artistic works
- Painting (oil)
- Music performance (piano, violin, flute)
- Music composition
- Calligraphy
- Fluency in foreign language
- academically intelligent

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World.

The castle is a vast structure. The maze-like halls and complex labyrinths throughout the castle makes it seem larger than life and seemingly never ending—a direct representation of the characters mental and emotional state.There are multiple notable areas of the castle, namely the study, the bedroom, the greenhouse garden, portrait gallery, and throne room.

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Story.

They are a royal heir who is given the crown and responsibility to rule at a young age. This follows their struggle from young adolescence to adulthood, where they keep working towards achieving the expectation of the role they are meant to fill after a high standard being set by themself and “others” when they were younger.
This storyline explores how it feels to succeed and achieve your best before discovering you can only relish your peak for so long before you must fall again. What happens when you fail to reach previous expectations you’ve once so effortlessly surpassed? Will they be able to fill the shoes that they’ve stretched for themselves? Can they truly rebuild their crumbling kingdom before it all falls to the sea?

Paper.
The crown? Nothing more than a figment of imagination. Created to make them feel better, only to overtake them in the end. Their sword is also made of paper. All pieces of power are fake, yet very real to them.

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Design.

Sketches and designs for the character and the kingdom.

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"Imposter"
The face they put on for the crowd no longer is the same face they are, and the struggle of feeling like you are not the person everyone now EXPECTS you to be is represented through the two heads splitting off of each other. Expectations from others and the self-standardization from a past successful self leads to the feeling of imposter syndrome. You will never be good enough for your or anyone's expectations.

"Running out of time"
Time is our greatest enemy. It’s uncontrollable, and dictates the race forward as one moves towards inevitable end. After spending so long outrunning it and being ahead of the “normal” and “average” standard, what happens when it catches up? The expectation of always being ahead will be a never-ending standard that cannot constantly be fulfilled as one begins to slowly run out of time. The overwhelming realization that time and reality has caught up to you leaves you feeling cornered and threatened. Stagnation.

"Atelophobic"
Atelophobia is the fear of imperfection. The crippling fear of starting something in fear of not being perfect the first time. The expectation of success and perfection has a tight grip on The Heir's every move. After being crowned, their every move feels monitored. Every mistake is heightened, every wrong is glaring. It is impossible to pick up even a paintbrush to pursue their favorite hobby, in fear of an imperfect stroke. A blank canvas is perfection in its purest form.

"Overgrown Thoughts"
Despite sitting in the chair of success, they have achieved quite the opposite. The festering, overgrown flowers show how much time has passed without maintenance. After you achieve your expectations, what do you do with success? Was it worth it all? You spent all your life working to this. You've given up everything to be here... so why do you still feel incomplete? Why does the crown sit farther away than ever? When success grows stagnant, you realize you never achieved what you really wanted all this time. You cultivated your own unhappiness.

"Outside Looking In"
What does loneliness feel like? After isolating yourself so willingly in the blind chase for incomprehensible expectation of success, what happens when you realize you lost what you really wanted? I'm trying to go back. Trying to reattach to the world and reach out to people around you to regain some semblance of sanity. But it feels so hopeless. Floating in empty space, trying to look in to Earth with an instrument meant to look out.

"Memorialized"
Being recognized for one's peak achievement is glorious. But a moment that is also so fleeting. When their peak is immortalized through a trophy carving, everything done afterwards will be compared back. Trying to chase after the pedestalled, younger version of themself, they are only left grasping shadows and ghosts that have outrun them. The self-standardization by the younger version of themself feels like a personal threat; something that isn’t as commonly recognized. “Formerly gifted” is a label that every prodigy child falls into once they reach a stage of stagnation. That statue is no longer a representation of who you are presently; it is an overshadowing creation of your past. As time erodes confidence and widens the gap of the expectation, you realize how far you've truly fallen.This is the only piece where the crown is depicted as three-dimensional, as it represents expectations and sits perfectly upon the head of one who achieved success. Their past and unattainable peak self.

Bouquet of Broken Roses
What they see is the final product, the success you achieved. But the backbreaking work that goes into it is all but forgotten in light of reaching the bar of expectation. The arduous pains, blood, sweat, and tears all poured into creating goes unnoticed. Just trying to measure up to who you once were takes more effort than ever before. The rewarded bouquet of “roses” seems more insulting than a compliment, when it simply reminds them of the harmfully worsening cycle of working just to fulfill their faltering purpose.

Who Are You?
Looking into the reflection, it’s not the same person. It’s so hard to simply exist knowing you aren’t the one you used to be and knowing all the flaws you have that need to be fixed to achieve perfection. They Need to be more presentable, more responsible, more productive, more Perfect, to satisfy the expectations. Simply just trying to be the person they used to be. Because they are trapped with the person in the mirror.

Untitled
As The Heir shifts from fully colored to sketched lines, the unfinished feeling of never being complete despite constantly working. Why can’t I be as productive anymore? It hurts to work so much and fail every time. Why can’t I be the same academic weapon I used to be? It’s so much work to work. It’s taking longer and longer to finish something that used to be so simple. I know I failed myself and everyone else. I just need to work hard and improve my work ethic. I need to be better but I’m so tired of everything.Dedicated to Eli.

”Mask”
Putting on a mask for the crowds, letting people only see the successful and perfect version of yourself while the suffering below takes hold. It's difficult to try to muster up the face of who you once were, knowing it's impossible for others to accept that you no longer are them. The longer you continue the facade, the harder it is to reattach your two identities as you descend and stray further from the face you uphold.

Behind the Scenes.@chaoticaol || RyanThis portfolio’s main theme explores “Expectations,” with the guiding question being “How do expectations affect a person as they develop/grow?” The artworks and story mainly explores the negative impacts of expectations on a growing adolescent through the pressure and stress of trying to “be enough,” all the way through their battle through burnout, struggle from falling from grace, and the final acceptance and realization that they are enough.This story is very personal to me as I’ve recently been though a very tough period of burnout in many aspects of my life. I’ve been trying to live up to a lot of parental, societal, and own self-set expectations all throughout my life after being crowned as “gifted,” “artistic,” “talented,” and more. The self standardization by the younger version of yourself feels like a personal threat; something that isn’t as recognized. Therefore, in this story, The Heir is only ever pictured alone, with only the presence of “others” that is their perception of others’ expectations of them—their reputation—as a representation of trying to live to their own expectations.This character and storyline allows for me to explore this topic as I also struggle with the same questions and try to find answers for what is to come.This portfolio is dedicated to my childhood, my 2021 art burnout, my drum major career, and Eli.

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